Things We've Learned Watching COPS

Lately we've been watching a TV series called COPS. The show follows law enforcement officers during police activities. While watching this show, we have learned a few things:

1. If all of a sudden you see a cop, RUN!! As fast as you can! They won't get suspicious!
2. If you have a large quantity of illegal substances or weapons in your car, don't bother with stop signs or red lights. It is best to get where you are going as fast as possible.
3. If an officer asks if you have any drugs on you, and you have a joint behind your ear, say no anyway. They will never notice something like that.
4. If you intend to shoplift some items from a store, and the store has security cameras, hang around for a while after you have selected your items. This will help you avoid suspicion.
5. If a cop has pulled you over and asks how much you've had to drink, best to say "nothing". They will take your word for it.
6. If there are a group of officers standing around you with guns drawn, yelling "GET ON THE GROUND," just stand there and grin at them. They are just joking.
7. "And that, sir, is the honest truth...sort of," is a lie that will convince even the most seasoned cop of your honesty.
8. If there are more than four officers attempting to subdue you, try and wrestle them off anyway. You are pretty strong.
9. If a cop has pulled you over and asks you to give him or her the keys to your car, the correct answer is, "it doesn't have keys. I start it by touching these two wires." This is a perfectly normal way to start a car. And last but not least, we share the most important tip:
10. If a police officer searches you and finds illegal substances in your pockets, the best defence you can give is "These isn't my pants!" No doubt some random stranger on the street simply offered to switch pants with you.